Decluttering the Guilt around Gifts

I received an interesting comment on one of my Instagram posts from a follower last week stating that her biggest roadblock in minimizing her possessions was gifts. It is a difficult dilemma, and one I struggle with myself, in particular items from my partner since we live together and it’d be hard for him to not see what I’m discarding.

It is easy to say, “it’s the thought that counts” and “It’s the giving of the gift that matters,” when it comes to decluttering gifts, but in practice…not so much.

The first step to addressing the issue is to dig into the reason you’re having trouble decluttering the item. I find that with gifts it usually falls into one of the following categories:

  1. Concern that the gift-giver will notice its disappearance. If the giver is only an occasional visitor, I can assure you that they won’t notice. However, to set your mind at ease I suggest doing a trial run. Put the item away in storage and if its absence isn’t noticed in X (I’ll let you set this number) amount of visits, you can discard confidently.
  2. Attachment due to the giver’s passing.  This is a much more sensitive issue. I would recommend gathering all the gifts, letters, photos, and other sentimental items from that person (almost like a mini-KonMari category). Once you’ve done this, it’ll be easier to pick out the items that mean the most to you and best represent that person and your relationship with them.
  3. Items from exes. In almost all cases, discard. KonMari likes to say that holding on to old relationships doesn’t leave room for new ones. And really, do you want to have items around that remind you of that person?

And as a final note:

Regifting.  It might be tempting to recycle gifts no longer wanted by regifting them. I personally think that the trouble involved – making sure it’s given to someone who doesn’t know that it was a gift to you, having to explain a lack of gift receipt, etc., makes it not worth it. I would simply discard or donate like any other item.

I hope this helps with what is a very difficult category of items to declutter. Definitely add any of your tips below!

Hugs from Hobbiton,

Veronica

 

Find Your Wardrobe, Find Yourself

In my decluttering journey until recently I’ve had one category that I really had trouble with: clothes. I tried KonMari-ing (Now four times for that category – I haven’t made it all the way through Komono yet, usually using the Minimalism Game for the random items.)  . I tried Project 333. Multiple times. (Never made it past two or three weeks.)

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All of this was very frustrating in my minimalism journey – why could I toss an old photo more easily than an old t-shirt? I did make progress, lots of it, but was still left way over the “click point” Marie Kondo talks about. I could still feel I had way more clothes than was right for me.

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So what was going on? It certainly wasn’t an aversion to tidying. I was having no issues in any of the other categories.  It wasn’t until Courtney Carver suggested writing a letter to your clothes (or any possession you’re having trouble with) that I figured it out:

Clothing is how I determined “who I was” and by maintaining a large variety I was able to avoid having to sit down and really think about who I am and where I want to go, instead taking on various “personas.”

KonMari talks about envisioning your “ideal life” before starting her method but that never quite clicked with me. It’s only recently that I finally determined a vision for myself, and just like that another 10 grocery bags of clothes were out the door. (Admittedly with just a few new purchases that I love.)

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So if like me you have trouble with decluttering clothes give the following a try:

  • Do a Project 333 – This is great to test whether your concern is having “enough” clothes to wear. It’ll teach you how few items you really need. If you are unable to complete it – think about why.  For me, I’d get bored and start sneaking more items in, but that was because I would always try to do a monochrome wardrobe (the stereotypical minimalist aesthetic), which not just bored me but meant I had chosen the wardrobe based on color rather than whether I liked the actual pieces.
  • Ask Yourself “What am I getting out of this?” – For me, it was the ability to adopt different personas and avoid doing the digging to figure out what I really actually liked.
  • Pay Attention and Make a List – Can’t stand capris? Get rid of the four in your drawer. Love big bulky sweaters but only own thin, form-fitting ones? Time to trade out those five you don’t like for a couple you love. For me I realized that I owned four zip-up hoodies although I only like pullover ones and way too many tank tops for someone who really doesn’t like them, yet I had zero of the pretty, flowy peasant-type blouses I always coveted.
  • Finally, Envision the True You – This will help make it clear what pieces should be in your closet. In my case, this meant buying more clothes, but 10 bags went out and I bought about two, so a huge net loss and my closet it the better for it.

Here’s to a closet full (but not too full) of only clothes you absolutely love and speak truth to who you are..

Hugs from Hobbiton,

Veronica

Decluttering Your Fantasy Self

I know I’m a bit late to the party, but wanted to write about decluttering ones fantasy self. (Yes, everyone did this in October. I call it being fashionably late.)

Credit goes to The Messy Minimalist, whose video was the first on the subject that I saw. I’ve linked it along with a couple other good ones on the topic below. (These are all excellent channels, by the way, so definitely give them a follow!)

So what is your “fantasy self?” This is the self that you attain to be but just realistically isn’t you. For example, part of Fantasy Hobbit is that she mails out handwritten notes sealed with a sticker or hand-stamped ink on the back of the envelope. Note: I have sent maybe two of these in my life. Both to my Abuela Julia.

The tricky thing about fantasy selves is that the related items usually pass the “Spark Joy” test of the KonMari method, so if this is what you used to declutter, you probably still have a lot of unnecessary and unused belongings laying around.

These items can be difficult to let go because it can also feeling like letting go of a dream. However, I believe a healthier and more positive way to look at it is as a step towards accepting and loving your true self.

Here’s what I decluttered and more importantly, what fantasy aspects of myself I let go of:

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Fantasy Hobbit wears an apron when she cooks and cleans to avoid ruining yet another shirt. Nope. She also takes vitamins every day. The expiration dates on these would say negative on that one as well.

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Fantasy Hobbit gifts beautifully wrapped presents to those she loves. Nope. Online shopping with gift wrap options is where it’s at for me, folks. As mentioned earlier, she also sends out letters and cards to keep in touch in a more personal way. NOPE.

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More stationary, and finally, Fantasy Hobbit is a huge comic book and graphic novel fan. I may be a bad geek for this, but I’ve tried and tried and just can’t geek that way.

Here are the videos I mentioned earlier. I highly recommend watching them if you’re having trouble letting your fantasy self go. So, what are YOU holding on to?

 

 

 

No Sidebar E-Mail Program Review

Good afternoon all!

I thought I’d provide a review of No Sidebar‘s 30-day e-mail course.

Overview: Every day you receive an e-mail with a mini-challenge, some of which build on others. These challenges cover areas from social media to decluttering to the mental side of minimalism and is more focused on minimalism as an entire lifestyle rather than focusing solely on decluttering. Also includes membership in the private Facebook community group.

Cost: $15 U.S., although if you follow them on Facebook on occasion they have a discount code that reduces it to $10.

Pros: 

  • Most days are “do-able” challenges that break things down into manageable pieces. There’s no “Today throw out all of your clothes.”
  • Least expensive of the minimalism/decluttering courses available.
  • Includes Facebook community group.
  • Covers unique topics.

Cons:

  • The challenges were so varied in topic that sometimes it was difficult to “see” a cohesive picture of what the course was aspiring to achieve.
  • No other content such as videos, interactive webinars ,or web portal.

Recommended: Yes

Final Thoughts:  Although there isn’t much interactive content, the challenges are refreshingly different than the usual decluttering challenges offered in minimalism courses and books, and the price point can’t be beat, even if you don’t catch them during a discount code.

-Pip

Welcome!

Hello there! This is Pip, the Minimalist Hobbit. I live up in the Shire, otherwise known as Lake Placid, NY, and am on the journey towards minimalism – not just with my physical clutter but electronic, social, etc. I hope you’ll join me!

If you’re wondering what Minimalism is, although it means something different to everyone, I like The Minimalists’ definition the best: “Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.” – https://www.theminimalists.com/minimalism/.

I will start regular posting soon, but will leave you with some quick book recommendations to get you started: (Please note that these are affiliate links. Your patronage is appreciated.)

Looking forward to traveling this road with you.

– Pip